Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
