I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
