I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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