I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My dick has a subreddit
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
