I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
