it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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