Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
