i already hear my dad disowning me
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
