I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
