i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
