Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
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I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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