It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
