I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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