508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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