home. puking in laundry basket.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
