Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
organizing the empties. That sober.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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