She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
