i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
