Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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