As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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