Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
