i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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