now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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