So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
