Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
