i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
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Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
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sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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