I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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