we have officially lost it.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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