why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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