you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
