I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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