apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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