Too much gin, very little bucket
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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