Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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