she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
