You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
