I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
