We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
