I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
