I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
