Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you traded sex for a burrito?
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I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
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I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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