The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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