if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Enjoy the penises
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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