It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
