I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I love having hate sex.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
