Tell her she can't have a vagina
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
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