Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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