Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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