My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
