mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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