You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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