I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
