:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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