Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
high people should be assigned attendants
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
