I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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