and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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