My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Donāt get me wrongāI love silver and braceletsābut handcuffs are not a good look on meā¦
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