Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
