it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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