Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
