they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
