I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
