I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
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Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
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My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.