i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
