So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
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we're making bets on your personal life
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
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I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!