The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
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I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.