No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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